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Parents on Sleuth

Sleuth is a growing crew of parents working together for better answers.

We gather stories and info directly from parents. With smart technology, we help each other identify solutions, resources, and cures.

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Our stories matter and we care about the details. After all, we are the experts of our children. Here are some of our stories.

R.

R.

4 years & 6 months old

Share the first part of R.'s story for readers on Sleuth! When and why did you start to feel concerned?

My son is almost two years old now. Last summer (when he was about 1 year old), he was sick for two or three weeks in a row. We weren't too concerned at the time, and then suddenly – well, it wasn’t sudden, but it seemed sudden – he lost 10% of his body weight within a month. He got to the point where he was so backed up, he wasn't eating anymore. I'm sure there were signs earlier that we didn't catch. For instance, he was not going to the bathroom regularly. And between me and my husband and our childcare, we never put that together. By the time we saw all the symptoms, he wasn't eating very much. And when he did, he’d throw up. Lots of throwing up. And he was in massive pain all the time. He was in such pain a few times that we had to go to Urgent Care. It was the worst. The scary thing was also that he just stopped all of the progression that he had been making. He had been cruising and starting to walk, and he just stopped everything. He wasn't talking yet, and he just became listless. It was terrifying. We never diagnosed why he lost all the weight. We found that there were a bunch of different issues, gastrointestinal issues. The weight came back first, but the bigger problem was that it took longer for him to get back to any physical and speech milestones. He started walking only once he had started on a new formula for a few months and gained weight. Now, we're actually seeing progression in his speech, which we haven't seen in the past. Up until he was well over 18 months old, he had no words that were consistent. I'm sure they’re supposed to have at least five to 10 words (or so) at that stage. That's when we went to a speech pathologist, and they acknowledged that he should have some consistent words. Recently, he's developed around 20 consistent words, and he's imitating, and you can just see him gaining confidence and gaining consistency. I'm feeling cautiously optimistic.

T.

T.

30 years & 7 months old

Share the first part of T.'s story for readers on Sleuth! When and why did you start to feel concerned?

My younger daughter, T. , would go to a birthday party - which she hated to do, because she was so anxious - and come back and tell you in detail the colors of every girl’s dress. For 10 girls, she would tell you what they wore, what the pattern was, what the color scheme was. Then, you would sit down with her and say, “This is the letter ‘A’” in a book and, on the next page, “This is the letter ‘A’”. You would then turn the page again, and point to an “A,” and say, “What is this?” And she would say, “I don’t know.” We benefited from birth order. Having an older daughter served as a point of reference, developmentally. My older daughter did things very early, but even accounting for that, I noticed disparities. The other reason T. hated going to the birthday party was because she didn’t like the social dynamics. She said, “Well, if I go, then this girl feels left out.” She had lots of emotional intelligence. I first started noticing T.’s learning differences at about three-and-a-half or four, and she didn't learn to read till she was about eight or nine. I learned more in hindsight. If you look, you also see this anxiety in children like T. Some of that may be her personality, but in my experience observing T. and other kids with learning differences, they felt like they weren’t meeting some sense of expectations. And that feeling created anxiety. In preschool, it was fine. But then, in PS6, it was hard for T. because there was constantly this sense of external benchmarks. Carmen Fariña, who became the Chancellor of New York City Schools, was the principal of PS6 at the time. I am eternally loyal to her. She put a cluster of kids together with teachers who were veterans and really knew what they're doing. They provided T. with a resource room teacher who was on the board of the National Dyslexia Foundation and taught at Hunter. In New York City, it's not like you're out at play all the time, and have other ways of expressing your capabilities. In spite of their efforts, school is pretty constrained. Certain places like PS6 were academically focused. I think this leads to an emotional toll. But I will tell you: when I go and read the assessment they did of T. at the age of five, everything is still true in her adult life. It was brilliant. They identified her issues with pattern recognition and sequencing. Now, T.’s a web developer, and she lives in Austin. One of her biggest struggles is: “Oh my, there's 10 projects to handle. What do I do first?” That problem of prioritizing tasks. At the age of 28, every once in a while, she still calls me up and goes, “Okay, I just need a little help. What should I do first?” I expect (and hope) she'll do that as long as I'm alive.

M.

M.

13 years & 9 months old

Share the first part of M.'s story for readers on Sleuth! When and why did you start to feel concerned?

I had a little heads up that things might be different. At the amnio, they found a marker on Chromosome 17. This was back in 2008. My daughter is 11 years old now. I went to everybody I could find: my doctor, other doctors, other specialists. I said, “What would this look like?” because the genetic counselor at the obstetrician’s office was trying her best to persuade me to abort. She went as far as to propose a date. They didn't know what a marker on 17 meant, or what it would look like when my daughter got older. My daughter looked okay in the sonogram. Finally, I found a genetic specialist who said it would look like learning disabilities and wouldn't show up until she was in elementary school. I'm a teacher, so I thought, “How could I possibly abort a child who has learning disabilities?” Anyway, the birth proceeded, and everything looked okay. This was my first and only child. I had no idea what to look for, or what the milestones were. Then, as she got older, it was clear there were issues with her development. She didn’t roll over. She didn’t sit up. She had hypotonia: she was like a rag doll with no muscle tone. She did make good eye contact, though. She talked early, before two years old, and has never stopped talking! She crawled late - two weeks before she turned two, and then she started walking at two or thereabouts. She couldn’t climb the steps, initially. She couldn’t run well. She has always had a problem with the right leg not quite keeping up with the left. She definitely has signs of ADHD. She has a very poor attention span and very poor frustration tolerance. She’s a brat, if there’s not a better term. She’s very oppositional. She wants what she wants, when she wants it. And she’s also needy. She always wants attention. She loves negative attention the best. It’s like she’s an addict, and her drug is being yelled at or being scared. She should eventually be a skydiver because she loves that high. She likes this more than positive attention. More than: “Hooray!” She’s really good with language, and has a really good memory. But she behaves like a two-year old. Except that a two year old goes and destroys something because they don't know better; she will destroy something because she wants to get a reaction. She’ll rip her book. She’ll grab a plant. We have to baby-proof the house. Knives can’t be out. She’ll grab one… She did it twice yesterday, because my brother made the mistake of leaving one on the island in the kitchen.

F.

F.

7 years & 2 months old

Share the first part of F.'s story for readers on Sleuth! When and why did you start to feel concerned?

My son started talking and walking at 10 months old. For all we could tell - and for all the doctors could tell - he was typical. You could ask him, “What does a cat say?” and he would answer. He would play peekaboo. He was engaged, and he had probably 30 words by the time he was 18 months old. I noticed at around that 15-month mark that he was not saying “Mama.” My husband said, “He's saying it. Do you hear him? He says, ‘Mom.’” I said, “I don’t think so.” That was the first thing that I questioned. He would say words, and then he would stop using them. Then, on top of that, he wouldn't eat very much variety. The doctors told me, “Oh, he's fine. Lots of kids are like that. As long as he's eating yogurt and those fruit pouches, he's fine. Don't worry about it.” So I didn't give it much thought. Then, at around 18 months, some of his words started changing. He went from saying “bite” to saying “bing,” and then he lost that word completely. I was pregnant with my second child at the time. F. was going to be 22 months old when I had my second one. At around the 20-month mark, he quit eating even more, dropped even more safe foods and then dropped even more words. By the time he was 22 months, right around the birth of my second child, he lost basically all of his words, and his level of social engagement dropped to very little. A friend of mine was getting married, so we traveled out of state from Georgia to Oklahoma to go to her wedding. That's when it was the worst. We realized just how far into himself he had gone. My family was there with us, and we all thought, “He's just not engaging at all.” He went through a regression, basically. In December, at the age of two, he wasn’t responding to us and there were no words at all.

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At 24 months old, among children with Cortical Visual Impairment

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